Writing.....

Miracles Still Happen: How Jesus Rocked my World 

Celebrating a victory. A victory that truly means more than any other victory I have experienced. 

On July 3rd, I will be baptized. Because of a miracle Jesus did in my life. Because He, friends, is the one who saved me from myself and my sin, and He is the one who blankets me in unconditional love for the rest of my life. Because Jesus is everything. 

There is POWER in the name of Jesus to Break. Every. Chain. There is POWER in prayer. There is POWER in PRAYING in the Name of Jesus. And Jesus saved me. Literally. 

Some of you may know of my deep struggles with anxiety, depression, and self-destructive coping mechanisms. Some of you may not. But it is without any shame that I write this post-because Jesus Christ has taken my shame away forever.

Summer 2015, I was a broken and hurting young woman in defeated downward spiral. Multiple self-harming behaviors were a regular part of my life and I couldn't cope if I didn't hurt myself. I was dragged down by depression and PTSD. I was slowly going away.

In November 2015, right around the time I turned 18, I hit a breaking point. Everything was going as badly as it possibly could. I was living in hell. And I was crying constantly for Jesus. 

It gradually escalated for a couple of weeks. On December 1st I attempted suicide. Alone. Scared. Hopeless. Grieving. I had pretty much hit rock bottom. And I was afraid of the darkness I couldn't escape from.

In God's amazing timing, the very next day someone at my new church home asked me if I was okay. For the first time I was able to say, "No. I'm not. I'm stuck in a cycle and I can't get out." People reached out and cared in a way I had never seen. I was learning after 4 months at the church that it was a part of their love.

In February 2016 I started therapy. Shortly afterwards I stopped self-harming. I have not, to this day, picked up a blade (or anything else for that matter) to hurt myself. I have gained back my innocence, something I never thought possible, and I am learning to trust again. It's possible, because, friends, JESUS CHRIST took the punishment!

Jesus Christ is worth EVERYTHING I have got, because Jesus Christ loves me like I never hurt myself. Like I was never hurting inside. Like the darkness never tainted my soul. Jesus Christ reached into the pit of black where I was a prisoner and took the mire and grime off my broken body. Jesus Christ made me free.

When Jesus looks at me, he sees his precious little girl. He sees his warrior princess. He sees a beautiful gem in his crown. He sees righteousness of God covering me, a sinful and broken human. He sees where I am, where I have come from, and where I am going. He sees the scars on my body and my mind. But he loves me.

He. Loves. Me.

This, friends, is a miracle. I am not ashamed of my past. I am no longer a slave to sin. I am a child of God. The chains are gone, I've been set free...THIS is truly amazing grace. This is unfailing love.

Soli Deo Gloria Aeternam---To God Alone be the Glory Forever.

PS. Follow my experiences with depression/anxiety and read more of my story with Jesus at http://hisbeautifulborderline.blogspot.com/!