Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to hurt.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to run away and hide and seek solace.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to take a break from certain people, even if just for a short while.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to cry yourself to sleep.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to allow yourself to be angry.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to fight your instincts to apologize for existing and just be.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to find a way to breathe when life chokes you with smog.
It's just that simple.
But sometimes you have to let yourself be loved by someone you love back.
It's not simple; you'd think it would be but it isn't.
Because there's this internal battle going on the whole time.
Am I really worth it?
Yes, I know the right answers.
I know God made me special and beautiful and I've heard it all before.
To be honest I just want him to restore creation already.
Everything hurts too much.
Nothing is simple or clean-cut or easily navigated.
I get scared far too easily.
People are fragile and mortal.
The earth is dying underneath me. Underneath us.
So where is hope, freedom, peace, shalom?
Where is God when we scream?
Is there any way we can let ourselves feel the beauty of love?
Are we too far gone to get close to what the world was designed to be?
Can I please age in such a way that I don't feel 100 when I'm not yet 20?
Why can't I fall asleep in his arms and wake up there, and really feel him?
How can I know he is there when I call him?
There are too many questions.
Not enough answers.
We are all lost, hunted, desperate; we seek shelter and warmth and love.
Our tongues get twisted and tangled when we try to speak.
The cliche replies come to mind.
Nothing goes beyond surface level.
Have I left my Jesus for someone else?
No. I may not understand, I may be lost, I may be drowning.
But I haven't left him and he hasn't left me.
I only hope that one day I will fall asleep forever.
That I will wake up and he will be holding me.
He will gently plant a kiss on my forehead.
Peace will be tangible; love will be visible.
Eden restored is more than my dream;
Destiny and purpose will be brought to full fruition.
Jesus will heal my aches forever.
But he put me here for some reason, some plan.
I have to remember not to trap myself in the past.
Getting lost in the future is not for me, either.
Present-day, present-moment, present-pain.
That's where he has me and I don't have to know why.
I don't have to accept everything without anger or grief.
Tears and anguish and frustration are given to me for a reason, too.
I must reconcile the ugly beauty of living as a mortal with hateful people in a broken world.
Maranatha Jeshua.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to run away and hide and seek solace.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to take a break from certain people, even if just for a short while.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to cry yourself to sleep.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to allow yourself to be angry.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to fight your instincts to apologize for existing and just be.
It's just that simple.
Sometimes you have to find a way to breathe when life chokes you with smog.
It's just that simple.
But sometimes you have to let yourself be loved by someone you love back.
It's not simple; you'd think it would be but it isn't.
Because there's this internal battle going on the whole time.
Am I really worth it?
Yes, I know the right answers.
I know God made me special and beautiful and I've heard it all before.
To be honest I just want him to restore creation already.
Everything hurts too much.
Nothing is simple or clean-cut or easily navigated.
I get scared far too easily.
People are fragile and mortal.
The earth is dying underneath me. Underneath us.
So where is hope, freedom, peace, shalom?
Where is God when we scream?
Is there any way we can let ourselves feel the beauty of love?
Are we too far gone to get close to what the world was designed to be?
Can I please age in such a way that I don't feel 100 when I'm not yet 20?
Why can't I fall asleep in his arms and wake up there, and really feel him?
How can I know he is there when I call him?
There are too many questions.
Not enough answers.
We are all lost, hunted, desperate; we seek shelter and warmth and love.
Our tongues get twisted and tangled when we try to speak.
The cliche replies come to mind.
Nothing goes beyond surface level.
Have I left my Jesus for someone else?
No. I may not understand, I may be lost, I may be drowning.
But I haven't left him and he hasn't left me.
I only hope that one day I will fall asleep forever.
That I will wake up and he will be holding me.
He will gently plant a kiss on my forehead.
Peace will be tangible; love will be visible.
Eden restored is more than my dream;
Destiny and purpose will be brought to full fruition.
Jesus will heal my aches forever.
But he put me here for some reason, some plan.
I have to remember not to trap myself in the past.
Getting lost in the future is not for me, either.
Present-day, present-moment, present-pain.
That's where he has me and I don't have to know why.
I don't have to accept everything without anger or grief.
Tears and anguish and frustration are given to me for a reason, too.
I must reconcile the ugly beauty of living as a mortal with hateful people in a broken world.
Maranatha Jeshua.
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